मैं झूठी हूँ

मन में कसक सी है
किसी कोने में एक हूक उठती है और
गले में फांस बनकर चुभती रहती है
पीड़ा से आँख भर आती है
माँ पूछती है कि ठीक हो
गला रुंध आता है
हंस कर कहती हूँ
हाँ सब बढ़िया है
नई जगह है ना
सुबह आँखें चुराती हूँ सबसे
तकिये को उल्टा करके उठती हूँ
ताकि भीगा मन नीचे छुप जाये
झूठी हंसी होठों पर चिपका कर रख पाना मुश्किल है
फिसल कर कब गिर जाती है
पता नहीं चलता
नम आँखों से फिर से बोलना
सब ठीक है
सब ठीक ही तो है
सिवाय इस के
कि मैं झूठी हूँ.

Dreams

Joys abound
My heart still misses a beat
Cheeks burn still
And I smile unknowingly
When I talk about you
Four years and four months
A long journey
Spent lovelorn mostly
Without you
I wish the time to fly away
With you
I count the tranquil hours
That would be gone soon
Days of solitary existence
And the desire of conjugal bliss
One place where we meet often
Is in our dreams.

Hope

I look at your face
And know exactly how it feels
To run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, eyebrows and
To gently caress your temple
I look into your eyes
And know that gleam
I can see through your soul
Know what’s on your mind
I run a finger over your image
And my heart skips a beat
I don’t know if it will be real someday
I only know that it destroys a part of me
Every time I look at you.

Perhaps

I cry silently
Not to wake the night
Your indifference
All these years
Has left me bare
I have fallen apart
There is nothing left
To hold me together
Not even you……
I want you to long for me
As I long for you
And hence I am going away
To some place unknown
Carrying this hope with me
That you will return to me one day….

Incomplete

The rhythm has lost its beat
Music its melody
And
Life its meaning
Colors have faded away
Senses are numb
The wait seems eternal
And
The yearning insatiable

To my husband

I remember you all right
When the days are empty
When I hear the sound of music
When I tuck in my blanket at night
I remember you all right
When the loneliness frightens me
I have nothing else to think of
When the living gets tough
When any laughter reminds me of good times spent together
When the joys in life
Seem too little
And your existence means a lot
I miss you with all that I have
Bare hands, forlorn eyes, insatiable longing
I would forsake anything
To just buy a moment with you
To just tell you
How much I love you
How much I am incomplete without you
How much you mean to me

Missing You

Lips quiver
Eyes moisten
Hands clasped together
Heartaches
Lost smile
Foregone world
Muddled emotions
Missing you
While being with you.